Nashinul Speling Be

You know you watched it. Everyone I've talked to watched at least part of it. I felt pretty dumb during the whole thing. Had I been the final contestant, this is how the last word would have played out...

Judge: Your word is "Ursprache."

Mac: Umm...

Judge: Ursprache. You have to spell it now. That's how it works.

Mac: Umm. OK. Are there any other pronunciations?

J: No. Just "Ursprache."

M: Umm. OK. Could you please give me the country of origin?

J: Yes. Originally from Germany to Zimbabwe to Bolivia to the Galapagos Islands and then to Cleveland.

M: Umm. OK. Could you please give me the definition?

J: Yes. Ursprache-some nasty German shit that you should never under any circumstance eat unless you are very intoxicated in the Hofbaurhaus. Also, means to balance oneself on one foot while plucking your eyebrows (the Cleveland defintion, of course).

M: Umm. Could you please use it in a sentence?

J: Yes. Ursprache-If you do not spell "Ursprache" correctly, you will be the laughingstalk of all the Spelling Bee-ers for years to come.

M: Umm. OK. Can I use my bonus time.

J: You don't have any.

M: Umm. OK. Oorshpraka. O... No. No. Let me start over. O...O...S...H...P...T...J...G...A...K...UH. Oorshpraka.

J: *giggle* I'm sorry, but that is incorrect.

Mie sun wil nevir mispel eezy wurds.